There is a universal pattern to forgetting past relationships, ending unfinished business, and releasing emotional baggage.
To some extent, you can’t avoid thinking about the past relationships of your significant other. Sometimes, it even feels too desperate to dig into something that you are not and never will be a part of.
It causes you self-doubt, self-pity, and anxiety.
Everyone has a past. That being said, all you need to do is be extra cautious about certain behaviors that manifest abuse and toxicity.
If you are haunted, however, in knowing more about your partner’s previous relationships, it is imperative to ponder on what it means for you and how it will bring you good.
Mexican women, specifically, are known to be very particular in choosing the men they date and have relationships with. There are things that you need to know and keep in mind in order to have harmonious and healthy relationships with them.
For instance, dating a Latina means meeting her family in the early stages of the relationship. It may somehow be shocking on the part of men, but this is one indication that she wants to spend a longer time with you.
However, other men can be somehow apprehensive with this kind of set-up because what if this has already happened with other guys (meeting her family) and eventually, the relationship was cut short?
Men and women agree that there are reasons why romantic connections end and why they were meant to end. Over time, it is essential to keep in mind that starting a new relationship means allowing to shape a more understandable connection.
Knowing how to accept the past of your partner is never an easy endeavor.
This is common among those who are a bit worried about how meaningful the previous relationship of their present partner was.
As such, people must take into consideration asking help from a relationship expert for them to understand the situation and help take control of their doubts.
Ronica Arnold Branson, a famous relationship expert, explains that even if someone has experienced bitter memories in the past, they must serve as opportunities to grow and improve as an individual.
This doesn’t mean, however, that you have the right to judge your partner for their past.
So here are a few things that might help you get over the idea that past relationships matter:
Infidelity is rampant.
It has been labeled a major deal breaker for all intimate relationships. And yes, it is hard to believe that your significant other may have committed cheating in the past. That’s why people see it as a big red flag.
Everyone must understand that every relationship is different. That being said, concluding that all partners are capable of cheating is taboo.
If at any point in a relationship where one partner cheated, relationship psychotherapists believe that it could just be a one-time thing, especially when they are remorseful, empathetic, and apologetic of their actions, and they never commit the same act again.
But if your partner has a history of cheating and has not undergone therapy to address the underlying problems, then there is a possibility that they might be a serial cheater.
As people say, once a cheater, always a cheater.
Research shows that university-level couples have a greater chance of ending up in a successful relationship. However, Mahalli, a certified relationship expert and mental health consultant, claims that having a degree is not a significant factor in most relationships.
Most people tag it as a red flag if the partner only finishes secondary education or lower because it is not complicated to spot a warning sign of instability.
But a thought to ponder is the fact that your partner comprehends things on a daily basis. Therefore, this dilemma doesn’t cloud their intellectual capacity and responsibility level.
There are tendencies in your relationship wherein you will hear negative things about your partner. There were multiple speculations and hearsay that your partner did something wrong. And because of that, their previous relationship ended.
In other words, these pieces of information should not be a big deal with regards to how you treat your partner. The way you see them now must not be influenced by the things they did, especially if there is nothing wrong with the current partnership.
People should never hold themselves accountable for their past behaviors that would tag them as unworthy of someone’s time and effort.
Remember, people change, and everybody needs to start accepting that.
Comparing yourself to someone else is one of the greatest predicaments a person can experience. This usually happens if you don’t see your own worth as an individual or even as a lover.
In a relationship, there is a certain tendency that you will weigh in on the similarities and differences between you and a specific ex-lover. But this will never benefit you.
Yes, your current partner and their ex may have been together for quite some time, but there’s a reason why they decided to end their relationship. You should never forget that.
You’ll never grow if you continue comparing yourself to your partner’s ex. You’re not living your reality if you base your actions on someone who isn’t involved in your present relationship.
In addition, the fact that your partner chose to be with you now is enough reason for you to stop contemplating on their past relationship and start focusing on your own.
One factor that people consider before entering into relationships is their preference. Most people want to date and pursue someone with the traits and features they seek.
And sometimes, others think that no one pursues them because of their physical appearance and personality. But there’s nothing to worry about.
It may sound cliche, but people change, and that’s a reality no one can stop.
With that in mind, there is a chance that people won’t heed to the preferences they set beforehand because, at a certain time, they will realize that these preferences don’t matter to them once they meet someone who has piqued their interest.
No one should ever put a limitation as to how they should see a person at the expense of happiness.
Then again, never forget to look for some things that may eventually affect your relationship with your partner, one of which is the pattern of abusive and controlling behavior.
It is important that when you are building a connection with someone after experiencing a failed relationship, you should leave the past behind, both yours and that of your partner’s.
Build a space where both of you won’t allow the past to affect the present relationship. Create happy memories together and focus on loving each other.
People should consider their past relationships as lessons to reflect on. It may not be as easy as how others think, but it helps them to realize the importance of the present connection and how to make it worthwhile.
Sometimes, it only takes a single understanding to accept that not all things are meant to last. Do something that will allow you to bury the past and take it as a sign to move forward.
So do past relationships matter?
Others would say yes, but some would say no. The answer depends on you.